Unsent Letters

Dear Piggly Wiggly,

While I was angry at you for not carrying fresh basil in your produce department (because really, you're a GROCERY STORE), I have decided to forgive you. Now my husband and I have our own herb garden. At first I was depressed, and wallowed in self-pity for a bit about living in a small town that doesn't believe we need fresh basil, but now I realize this is so much better anyway. I'm sorry for getting so upset, and I still like saying your name.

Sincerely,
A Forgiving Shopper


Dear Students,

I realize that summer vacation is calling your name. What I don't think you realize is that it is also calling mine. Let's hang in there together. Only 18 school days left!

Love,
Your Tired Teacher


Dear Joycious and Brucious,

Thank you for watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with me. While it was long, and slightly (OK, severely) depressing, I still enjoyed spending the evening with you. Thanks for being my family.

Love,
Katiewick (your daughter-in-law)


Dear Stove,

Wow. You are still in the middle of my kitchen. What's up with that?

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Cook


Dear Handyman,

I don't understand why you won't return my phone calls. Where did I go wrong? I always paid you on time. I know I asked you not to smoke in my house, but you seemed OK with that. Also, I loved your country accent, your friendly demeanor, and you are great at what you do. Who am I going to get to fix my counter top so I can move the stove out of the middle of my kitchen?

Yours Truly,
Out on a Limb


Dear Mom,

I miss you. Wish you could come visit again, or that I could come party with you, Arianne, and Anya. Don't go into too many shoe stores without me!

Love,
Your Daughter

Dear Sunshine,

You made my day delightful today. I wish I would have had more time to bask in your divinity, but I was teaching adolescents for most of the day. Only 18 more days, and I think we might be spending some more quality time together. =-)

Yours Truly,
An Albino who Longs for a Tan

Dear Krispy Kreme,

Can you ever forgive me? All those times I said I wasn't a doughnut lover, that I didn't like you, that the "hot" sign was not a temptation for me. Lies. All of it was lies. One American Cancer Society fundraiser at my high school convinced me that I could quite easily devour half a box of your glazed goodness. Stepping on the scale today has convinced me that it's time to hit the treadmill as a penance, but I think it was worth it.

Sincerely,
A Repentant Taster

Dear 17 Research Papers Waiting to be Graded,

I hope you're not crap. I really, really hope you are not crap. Not that I'm expecting the worst.

Sincerely,
A Reluctant Reader

Dear 12:49 a.m.,

What am I doing up?!?! It is most definitely time to go to bed!

Love,
Someone Who Has Too Much to Do to Sleep in Tomorrow!