Friday, May 15, 2009

Unsent Letters

Dear Piggly Wiggly,

While I was angry at you for not carrying fresh basil in your produce department (because really, you're a GROCERY STORE), I have decided to forgive you. Now my husband and I have our own herb garden. At first I was depressed, and wallowed in self-pity for a bit about living in a small town that doesn't believe we need fresh basil, but now I realize this is so much better anyway. I'm sorry for getting so upset, and I still like saying your name.

Sincerely,
A Forgiving Shopper


Dear Students,

I realize that summer vacation is calling your name. What I don't think you realize is that it is also calling mine. Let's hang in there together. Only 18 school days left!

Love,
Your Tired Teacher


Dear Joycious and Brucious,

Thank you for watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with me. While it was long, and slightly (OK, severely) depressing, I still enjoyed spending the evening with you. Thanks for being my family.

Love,
Katiewick (your daughter-in-law)


Dear Stove,

Wow. You are still in the middle of my kitchen. What's up with that?

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Cook


Dear Handyman,

I don't understand why you won't return my phone calls. Where did I go wrong? I always paid you on time. I know I asked you not to smoke in my house, but you seemed OK with that. Also, I loved your country accent, your friendly demeanor, and you are great at what you do. Who am I going to get to fix my counter top so I can move the stove out of the middle of my kitchen?

Yours Truly,
Out on a Limb


Dear Mom,

I miss you. Wish you could come visit again, or that I could come party with you, Arianne, and Anya. Don't go into too many shoe stores without me!

Love,
Your Daughter

Dear Sunshine,

You made my day delightful today. I wish I would have had more time to bask in your divinity, but I was teaching adolescents for most of the day. Only 18 more days, and I think we might be spending some more quality time together. =-)

Yours Truly,
An Albino who Longs for a Tan

Dear Krispy Kreme,

Can you ever forgive me? All those times I said I wasn't a doughnut lover, that I didn't like you, that the "hot" sign was not a temptation for me. Lies. All of it was lies. One American Cancer Society fundraiser at my high school convinced me that I could quite easily devour half a box of your glazed goodness. Stepping on the scale today has convinced me that it's time to hit the treadmill as a penance, but I think it was worth it.

Sincerely,
A Repentant Taster

Dear 17 Research Papers Waiting to be Graded,

I hope you're not crap. I really, really hope you are not crap. Not that I'm expecting the worst.

Sincerely,
A Reluctant Reader

Dear 12:49 a.m.,

What am I doing up?!?! It is most definitely time to go to bed!

Love,
Someone Who Has Too Much to Do to Sleep in Tomorrow!

7 comments:

  1. Love it! you need to blog more often. Here's hoping summer break means more posts!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Katie, you are soooo funny!!! We are having a great time with your mom, Jared and your dad! Just witnessed about 1500 bikes go by your mom and dads house. Some kind of race. Very cool!

    Yesterday Anya said to me "I have already bought 3 pairs of shoes here in Utah" Sorry! It isn't as much fun without you here!

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  3. Okay, so you crack me up every time I read your blog. You're hilarious! We're excited for 18 days from now for your sake!

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  4. Dear Daughter,
    I miss you even more than you miss me! We did go into lots of shoe stores, but I couldn't bring myself to even try any on without you there. I'm sure hoping it won't be long before we see each other again...
    Love,
    Mom

    ReplyDelete
  5. The letters are so much fun. I have even more fun reading them than I do writing them. But I couldn't help but think of Steel Magnolias when you mentioned the "Piggly Wiggly." Love ya!

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  6. Oh my gosh! You are a crack up! I love how 18 more days left of school was repeated numerous times! I really don't think the students realize how excited we are for summer and the end of the day... often MORE than they are! It's terrible! I hope all is well! I miss our drives home ranting to each other! I also liked your letter to krispy cream! The Orem one misses you as well!

    Jesica

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  7. Hi Katie,
    We loved watching the movie with YOU - just didn't turn out to be any of our favorite flick. But I'm still glad I saw it because it was on my list of movies to see. We'll try another one soon. The rest of your post cracked me up. You are so funny! Glad you are here in Kinston, but miss having you around the house more.

    Love you,
    Joycious

    ReplyDelete

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