Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Day from the Place that is Not Heaven

You know, when the day is covered in dozens of little moments that make you want to return to your Dr. Pepper addiction, it's hard to pinpoint which moment exactly drove you to utter insanity. My day today was such a day. Dozen of encounters contributed to making the day a disaster. I feel like I deserve an award of some kind after the chaos I have endured. Perhaps the "Most emotional breakdowns in one day" award. Here's my acceptance speech:

Wow! Me? Thank you. It's so unexpected. Well, not really since I cried multiple times today...sometimes in front of complete strangers. Gosh. So much contributed to making my day a day of emotional instability. It's hard to know who to thank first.

First of all, thank you so, so, so very much BYU. By changing your housing boundaries and throwing dozens of married families out on the street, you have forced rent prices to increase for married couples everywhere! Not only that, but you have also contributed to married people searching outside of the tiny radius of student housing into Orem, where I had originally hoped to find cheaper, available housing. Gee, BYU, you're swell! Couldn't have even begun my crappy day without you, thanks!

You know, I think the highlight of my day was dealing with Utah drivers. There were so many magical moments on the freeway that made me want to scream. But I'd like to particularly thank the semi-truck driver who decided to back out into oncoming traffic ON STATE STREET going the wrong direction during rush hour. Such a combination of incompetence. But you know, you did blow your horn to warn us...thanks Mr. Semi-truck driver.

And how can I ever accept such a prestigious award without thanking the real estate company who got my hopes up ever so much, only to crush them into oblivion? Thanks so much for letting me look at the perfect apartment and telling me it's available and then calling me to tell me that, sorry, you were mistaken and it's already been leased. MAN! I felt so helpless and lost at that moment after I'd just called my husband to tell him I thought I'd found our new home...couldn't have done it without you!

And, I'll never forget, Mr. Policeman, how you gave us that parking ticket, even though we were only parked incorrectly for a split second at Meredith and Adam's apartment. And, when I saw you putting the ticket on the windshield and asked you if I could move the car, when you looked at me and said, "It's a done deal," I was so thankful that I was able to reply, "If I burst into tears will it help? Because this is the worst day of my life!"

And how can I neglect to mention the tub full of spiders in the duplex for $600 a month? Your triggering my arachnophobia helped me to realize what frightening living quarters are available to me at a reasonable rate.

Lastly, remaining homeless after a day of house hunting is just...priceless.

I'll never know what I did to deserve such punishment. Thank you. Thank you all.


  1. Oh Katie! HOW HORRIBLE!!!
    I'm so sorry you had a crappy crappy day. I can totally relate with the housing issue!! I have been looking for two weeks and haven't really found anything yet. I thought I had a place for sure today and they said to call back in ONE until then I reside at my parents...thank goodness they are here. Good luck with the hunt and welcome back. I hope that by the time you leave you will have some good memories of the place that shall not be named. :-)

  2. Katie, I'm so very, very sorry about that. Utah totally and completely sucks, especially Utah Co. Utah. I hope you find a place soon. How far outside the Provo/Orem area can you afford to look? Anything I can do to help?

  3. You are both so sweet; thanks for your sympathy. As far as looking outside Provo/Orem we don't want to go too far away because Chad is still in school, I'm teaching in Lehi, and we only have one car. I have checked Lehi, American Fork, and Pleasant Grove without too much success. I put in an application at a place in Orem, so I'm just waiting to hear back. I'm looking at one more place today. Keep your fingers crossed for me!


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