The Day from the Place that is Not Heaven

You know, when the day is covered in dozens of little moments that make you want to return to your Dr. Pepper addiction, it's hard to pinpoint which moment exactly drove you to utter insanity. My day today was such a day. Dozen of encounters contributed to making the day a disaster. I feel like I deserve an award of some kind after the chaos I have endured. Perhaps the "Most emotional breakdowns in one day" award. Here's my acceptance speech:

Wow! Me? Thank you. It's so unexpected. Well, not really since I cried multiple times today...sometimes in front of complete strangers. Gosh. So much contributed to making my day a day of emotional instability. It's hard to know who to thank first.

First of all, thank you so, so, so very much BYU. By changing your housing boundaries and throwing dozens of married families out on the street, you have forced rent prices to increase for married couples everywhere! Not only that, but you have also contributed to married people searching outside of the tiny radius of student housing into Orem, where I had originally hoped to find cheaper, available housing. Gee, BYU, you're swell! Couldn't have even begun my crappy day without you, thanks!

You know, I think the highlight of my day was dealing with Utah drivers. There were so many magical moments on the freeway that made me want to scream. But I'd like to particularly thank the semi-truck driver who decided to back out into oncoming traffic ON STATE STREET going the wrong direction during rush hour. Such a combination of incompetence. But you know, you did blow your horn to warn us...thanks Mr. Semi-truck driver.

And how can I ever accept such a prestigious award without thanking the real estate company who got my hopes up ever so much, only to crush them into oblivion? Thanks so much for letting me look at the perfect apartment and telling me it's available and then calling me to tell me that, sorry, you were mistaken and it's already been leased. MAN! I felt so helpless and lost at that moment after I'd just called my husband to tell him I thought I'd found our new home...couldn't have done it without you!

And, I'll never forget, Mr. Policeman, how you gave us that parking ticket, even though we were only parked incorrectly for a split second at Meredith and Adam's apartment. And, when I saw you putting the ticket on the windshield and asked you if I could move the car, when you looked at me and said, "It's a done deal," I was so thankful that I was able to reply, "If I burst into tears will it help? Because this is the worst day of my life!"

And how can I neglect to mention the tub full of spiders in the duplex for $600 a month? Your triggering my arachnophobia helped me to realize what frightening living quarters are available to me at a reasonable rate.

Lastly, remaining homeless after a day of house hunting is just...priceless.

I'll never know what I did to deserve such punishment. Thank you. Thank you all.