Things on My Mind

So, I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Some of them somewhat excessively. In no particular order, here are some of the things I've been thinking about:

1. How do you know when you're ready to be a mom? No, seriously. I'd like to know. It seems like everyone and their little sister is getting pregnant right now. I'm surrounded by women carrying fetuses. And I am beyond thrilled for each one of them! I can't wait to go to their baby showers, hold the little bundles of joy when they get here, snap a gazillion photos of the little tykes. But the thing is, even though I'm excited for them, the thought of having a baby of my own beyond freaks me out. I know I want to be a mom eventually, but I really don't feel ready to be a mom right now. I have no idea what to do with a baby. A toddler, I can handle. But a baby? What scares me about this, is that most of the women I am surrounded by who are about to become moms (some of them for the second time) are my age or younger. Am I supposed to feel ready to be a mom now? Because other people seem to think so. That's probably why I keep getting asked when I'm going to have a kid (not by everyone, but by some people). Is it bad that I don't feel ready? Does that mean I'm not ever going to be ready to be a mom? And if that's the case, does that mean I will eventually become a mom, without feeling ready, and thereby become an incompetent and horrible mother? Scary thought.

2. The incident I had with the couple in my parking lot. Last weekend my friend Callie came over to dye my hair (and did a smashing job, by the way). We have two reserved parking spaces. Since Chad and I only have one car, anytime anyone comes to visit they use our extra parking space. Callie called me when she got to our complex and asked where to park, because someone was parked in our extra space. Well, this just flat out makes me MAD! What's the point of having reserved spaces if random people are just going to use them?! So, I called the towing company to come and take away the car. I was not being malicious and mean; I just wanted to use my ASSIGNED parking space. Well, when the man got there to tow the car, the couple who had parked there came out. Needless to say, they were not happy campers. The lady proceeded to call me a b**** repeatedly. The best part though, was when they were getting in their car to leave. That's when the man turned to Callie and me and said, "Way to be LDS, ladies, way to be LDS." To which I responded, "Excuse me, maybe you need to think about that, considering you're the people CUSSING ME OUT when I have done nothing wrong." To which he responded, "Shut up, b****" before getting in his car (with an LDS sticker on the dashboard) and driving away. They were clearly intellectuals with a vocabulary like that. Callie got an apology letter on her car windshield that night from him (but not from her, she didn't strike me as the apologizing type). So, this incident (besides upsetting me terribly because I've never really thought of myself as a person who would be called a "b" repeatedly, plus I'm a blue who thinks everything is her fault, which means I must have done SOMETHING to deserve such rude behavior) has made me think about a few things. First of all, it sparked an entire conversation while getting my haircut about me being intimidating. WHAT THE HECK?!? Am I? Honestly? Because first the psycho family in Bountiful called me that, which I just thought was because they were psycho and from Bountiful, but my friend Callie telling me that means it might be true. Secondly, do people really think that they are entitled to be the exception to the rule? I mean, I know my students do, but they are in HIGH SCHOOL, that's an excuse. Do adult people really think they can park in an assigned spot and nothing should happen to them, even though there is a warning sign posted by the entrance to the parking lot? We live in a sad world. Lastly, I must be in Utah when a man with a LDS sticker on his dashboard feels the need to scream cuss words and tell ME, "Way to be LDS." Seriously. It's time to get out of this state.

3. I am organizing my lesson plan binders from last term right now. I'm a good teacher. I really am. I work hard. My students are learning. Even though things didn't go perfectly the last two terms, I feel like I've really built some strong relationships with my students. I really care about them. I really do like my job, even though I want to quit about every third day, and cry about it a lot. Some of my students really have made progress, even though most of the time I look at their writing and want to die. I had my second evaluation of the year with my vice principal last week, and she really made me feel good. She says I have been blessed with a talent, and I think I agree with her. I just hope that I'm making a difference for my students. And I wish some of them would get transferred out of my classes, because then I'd feel even better about myself, lol.

4. This summer is going to be UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME! First of all, it will be SUMMER which means it won't be 5 FREAKING DEGREES every day. I will have 3 glorious months off to sleep in, read whatever I want, and finish the next NY Times bestseller. Chad is also graduating, HALLELUJAH! We are going to be buying our first place, somewhere, we don't know where yet. We're going to ITALY!!! I am going to soak up fabulous sites and works of art. AND I AM GOING TO EAT GELLATO AT LEAST ONCE A DAY WHILE THERE!!! (But we'll be walking so much it won't matter.) AND I just found out my family is having a reunion on the Oregon Coast this summer, which is one of my most favorite places on earth, and will soon be one of my husband's once he goes there, too.

So there you go. Just a few things I've been thinking about lately. Kinda random. Forgive me!