Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Reese Rules of Summer, 2015 Edition

 1.  Celebrate the start of summer by picking the perfectly ripened strawberries.  Turn the ones you don't devour right from the field into homemade strawberry jam.

2.  Watch the sky fill with hot air balloons and stop for ice cream on the way home.  

3.  Enjoy those last sneaky days of spring that still require jackets.  Once the Southern heat wave arrives, there will be no turning back.  Make your best scientist faces while conducting experiments at the Museum of Life and Science.  

4.  Look dapper on Sundays.

5.  Remind your mom that you're an awesome helper at least once a day.  

6.  Arrange a free baby sitting swap for your husband's birthday and buy tickets to the Mumford and Sons concert, while walking to the venue from the parking lot.  The lawn seats will be sold out, but don't worry--you'll get to sit in the pavilion for less money.  Remember how much fun it is to spend spontaneous time with your best friend.    

7.  Make a homemade carrot cake.  Don't cry when the toddler tries to smuggle a piece on Sunday morning, and instead shatters the glass cake plate and makes the leftovers inedible.  Leave the mess on the kitchen floor until you come home from church.  Ain't nobody got time for that before 9:00.    

8.  Finish off a great soccer season with the best coaches of all time and a best buddy.  Go, Sounders!  Your little brother will cry when he isn't allowed to also take the field.  It will cause him physical pain.  Share snacks with him to make him forget his previous tears.    

9.  Live in gratitude for air-conditioned museum memberships.  The Christmas gifts that keep on giving.  All summer long.  

10.  Join friends on impulsive outings, especially when wild animals are involved.  Be glad you have friends who are on time (even though you never are) and that they save you front row, shaded seats.  

Make it clear that a future in veterinary medicine or zoology isn't looking promising.

11.  Go to the pool as much as humanly possible.    

If your name is Everett Holden, never stray too far from the stairs.

12.  Prove that chubby toes are even more adorable when squeezed into a pair of bowling shoes. Enroll in the free summer bowling club and prove it over and over again.   

13.  Host your first sleepover, but make sure everybody knows it isn't a sleepover, since we don't do sleepovers.  

Eat a scrumdiddlyumptious french toast breakfast in the morning.

14.  Share millions of afternoon giggles with your favorite baby N.

15.  Eat WAY too many lunches at Chick-a-Lay (and have the stash of kid's meal toys to cash in for ice cream to prove it).  

16.  When given the opportunity, jump in foam pits.  

17.  Realize that while you could pay over $100 to watch your preschooler suit up for a season of T-ball, a quick email inquiry will acquire you a team, parent coaches, and a 100% FREE season of adorable views.  Let the little ones pretend to be on the team a time or two.    

18.  Show your patriotism on the 4th of July.

Then listen to the NC symphony show off theirs, against the prettiest backdrop imaginable.  

Last, but not least, have a look of wonder for the entire fireworks display.

19.  Change is good.  Therefore, use Craigslist to pawn off your furniture and decor piece-by-piece and change things up for something lighter and brighter.  

20.  Art museums are not only great places to gape at expensive masterpieces, but can also be fantastic spots to picnic, run through water, and create art of your own.  All during one of the hottest days of the year.  

21.  At some point, you have to grow up, quit pretending nothing is wrong with you, and face the facts.  You have a rare disease.  Deal with it.  Start taking the necessary steps toward treatment.  You may not know you're claustrophobic, until you've endured one of those steps--a 45 minute cardiac MRI.  One MRI down, two more to go.    

22.  When creating with play dough, remember that pants are optional.  In fact, during most summer activities, pants are not required.  

23.  Wake up at the crack of dawn to get the most anticipated read of the summer.  You may be overestimating the rest of the population's zeal for literary giants, but reading Go Set a Watchman will feel like you've picked up where you left off with an old friend, so it is still worth it.  

24.  Don't panic should your child's skin look like this after he saturates his shirt with a bottle of almond extract.  It will go away by the time the advice nurse at the pediatrician's office calls you back.  

25.  There is no shame in free Chick fil A.  Therefore, indulge in Cow Appreciation Day.  All day long.  

26.  Share popsicles with your favorite neighbor.  

27.  Drive way too far for a mediocre splash pad, but turn it into the best day ever when combined with a shaded park and delicious Hawaiian shaved ice.  

28.  Never underestimate how special a few dollar store party supplies, cupcakes, and a handful of friends can feel to a two year old.  Wrap up some yard sale finds, splurge on one special present from big brother, and BAM!  Fantastic 2nd birthday celebration!  

29.  Never forget that while the beach is fabulous anytime, it is especially fantastic when discovered with friends (especially when those friends let you park and shower at their rented beach cottage).

30.  The friends who eat greasy burgers together, stay friends forever.  Or something like that.

31.  Ship your parents off for a weekend getaway, so you can enjoy some serious spoilage at the hands of Gigi and Poppy.

While they enjoy amazing food at restaurants with wait times you'd never survive and beach time that involves nothing more than a book and good conversation.

32.  Pay off your student loans, because you're definitely using that teaching degree for which you acquired them.

33.  Continue trying to convince your mom that messes like this are, in actuality, some twisted form of play.  

34.  A quick game of Twister can help you beat the heat.  

35.  Practice your driving skills whenever opportunities arise.

36.  Chuck E Cheese really is where a kid can be a kid, even after the last token disappears.    

37.  Doughnuts and chocolate milk are never a bad way to start the day.  When given a choice, choose this over the gym.  

38.  Sometimes, after going through the painstaking process of loading photos not once but twice to the longest blog post of the century, it is OK to be too tired to proofread.

You're not quite over, Summer, but you're definitely coming to an end.  Thanks for being a grand one!  

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