As your RA I must admit I am a bit concerned for your welfare. Indeed, after spending many long hours associating with you I have come to believe there is little hope you can ever develop into successful, socially competent individuals. Here's why:
1) Perhaps the most notable reason of all, is that when my husband tells you to leave a self-addressed, stamped envelope (for the return of your deposit) you ask him, "Where do I put my address? In the left hand corner?"
2) After I speak with you and tell you that, yes, you will indeed have to do more than one cleaning assignment since there are only 3 people living in your apartment, you call mommy dearest and have HER yell at me. First of all, there's a little thing called INDEPENDENCE that a good amount of college students are trying to develop these days...GET SOME!!! There is no way in heck that my mom would have done that for me when I was in college. Secondly, give your mommy a little message for me. See, the best way to get someone to want to help you is not by belittling them, yelling, and making yourself look like an immature idiot. That makes the other person angry, annoyed, and pretty much they just hope that something horrible will happen to you later during the day (nothing too permanent... just a very painful stubbed toe, a case of chicken pocks... you know...temporary pain).
3) When I show up to check your apartment, using the LIST that I gave you telling you exactly what I would check, you still seem shocked that I'm asking if you mopped the floor..."Oh, was I supposed to do that?" HELLO PEOPLE!!!
4) You apparently think I am stupid and try to play the game you used to play with your parents while still living at home. You know, when you ask mom and she says no you ask dad? Hmmm, well that doesn't work on me kids. See, when you go to the office and lie, they just call me and tell me the lie, then I tell them the lie that you told me about them, and then we laugh and CHARGE YOU THE FINE!
5) You call my apartment at 1:30 in the morning. When we don't answer, you wait five minutes and call AGAIN!!!!
6) When I tell you that, yes, you will be getting the $50 fine for not making an appointment with me 48 hours in advance (and let's not forget that I did give you THREE...yes, not ONE, not TWO, but THREE...reminder notices about this very thing) you give me a sob story about how "I didn't know..." and "I didn't get anything about that..." or even "My roommate hid that from me..." You know what people, you DESERVE the fine!
You DESERVE the $100+ fine that's going to come because you didn't clean a THING! You deserve to be the future unemployed. Your parents DESERVE to be covering your expenses for the rest of your lives because they didn't teach you an ounce or responsibility when they had the chance. WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE????
P.S. For those of you who were responsible, delightful, and just all around good people this week- thank you. From the bottom of my heart I wish you all the happiness in the world.