Monday, June 15, 2009

New Job Anxiety

After tomorrow the summer officially begins for me, which means the start of my new job. I always have anxiety when I start new employment. I don't handle change very well, for starters. Plus, my perfectionist nature doesn't function well in a state of "I don't yet know what I'm doing, and that's pretty obvious to others."

This summer I have decided to become a writer. Some of you are laughing right now, thinking this is typical Katie sarcasm, but please try to stifle that giggle, because I'm being completely serious. I've always wanted to be a writer. I took a creative writing class at the end of my time at BYU, and got some positive feedback from my professor. I started a novel, and he volunteered to help me with it if I ever finish writing it. Since then, novel writing hasn't had a lot of room on life's agenda, which is why I opted not to get a summer job this year.

This summer I'm going to sit in front of a computer screen, and I'm going to try to write down one of the stories I've had swirling around in my head for the last few years. I've always wanted to write a book, and I feel like now's the time to give it a shot, before my future children come along and and are vying for my attention. What's scarier than me thinking I can accomplish this, is the fact that my husband has enough faith in my minuscule amount of creative writing ability to let me do this for the summer and be happy about it. In fact, he is encouraging me to do this. Bless his heart; he really does love me!

Anyway, over the last couple of weeks I've been having a tad bit of anxiety over starting my new state of "un-employment." I've been picturing myself staring at a blinking cursor for 2 months and ending the summer with nothing to show for it (except for the 20 pounds I will have put on after drowning my writer's block sorrows in hot fudge sundaes and Oreos). Part of me wishes I'd tried to find a position waiting tables at Chili's or Ruby Tuesday, so I wouldn't have to worry about it (then I reflect on my Ihop days, and realize that, no, that's a lie. . . no part of me REALLY wishes THAT).

Anyway, I figure if at the end of the summer I have a book, even if it's a book that no one will ever publish, and no one will ever read but me, I will have accomplished something great. I can cross "write a novel" off of my bucket list, and call it good. I'll know I'm just not cut out to be a novelist, and I can move on. But, until I try, I'll never know . . . so here's to trying.

14 comments:

  1. Hey Katie-
    It's Sherry from London. I liked this post. I'm doing the same thing for similar reasons and have a husband who feels the same way. He actually gave me a creative writing course for Mother's Day.
    Anyway, if you ever feel like having an online writer's group let me know. It helps me to have someone to be accountable to (thus the writing course).
    Good luck!

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  2. Katie you will do so good! I volunteer to read your novel anytime. Good Luck.

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  3. Good Luck! I will read your novel and I'm sure others will to. I think you probably have a lot of great material to base it of off...You could just write about all of our crazy high school experiences and that might be good enough!

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  4. You go girl! I will read it... you know, I was an editor for Deseret Book once upon a time...

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  5. Sounds like a fun summer to me!

    I have the same interest myself, though I have LOTS of distractions to keep me from writing.

    Good luck!

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  6. Can't wait to read it! You can do it Katie! Can't wait to see you in July!

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  7. That is the most awesome thing I have ever heard. I am so impressed by you right now! What an absolutely amazing accomplishment that will be.

    What I lack in original thought, I make up for in proofreading! If you ever need to bounce ideas or just check spelling please count me in!

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  8. Oh Katie, that's awesome! I wish you much luck! Having moved away from the bubble I am sick of all the dirty, profane books on the library shelves out here in the "real world". More good, clean books please!

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  9. Go for it I totally think you could be a very successful writer. Live life with no regrets :)

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  10. Can't wait to get my hands on a copy when it is finished. And as for the two months of staring at a cursor...I think that two weeks could really be the extremem before sheer insanity took over. :) Best of luck. Have a wonderful summer and eat some oreos whether or not you get writer's block!

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  11. go katie!! you can do it!

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  12. I'm 100% supportive of this new adventure! I love that you are chasing a dream, You're are great katie and i've always thought you where cut out for great things! Good Luck this summer!

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  13. Katie first off, i miss you. Second off, aren't you so scared? I am about 30 pages into a novel that i'm writing and more than anything i'm scared to death of it being horrible! Let me know how it goes and I want to read it!

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  14. Good for you Katie!! How exciting, I seriously doubt you'll gain any weight and certainly not from failing at anything. I have faith as well that you can do it!!!
    I'm excited for you :)

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