Until this morning I didn't even know your name. Last night, however, as I drove home (contemplating the fact that my house would be less than ninety degrees) I felt this need to know who it was that made the restoration of my sanity possible. A quick Google search confirmed that you are, indeed, the father of air conditioning.
Willis, (Can I call you Willis?) I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. This morning, when I woke up and saw that the temperature we had set the thermostat at matched the temperature of the house, my heart burst with utter joy. The fact that the blanket of humidity that had been clouding every room had also been lifted was a mere added bonus.
No longer will I have to walk around my home spritzing myself with cold liquid.
No longer will I have to pack an overnight bag each evening, because my home is too hot to sleep in.
No longer will I have to fear the prospect of bringing my new born child home to live in an oven.
At this moment, dear Willis, Will, I feel you may be the love of my life. (OK, so not really--that last sentence is just for dramatic effect, because that role is already taken by someone utterly more wonderful, even if he didn't invent the air conditioner.)
Thanks again, Will. You will never know how many Southern lives you have changed for good.
Your Grateful Friend,
A woman who is almost OK with how much the heating and air system is costing, because it was clearly SOOOOOO worth it